When the sky has this mild blue color it melts my heart and makes me think of my mother's blue VW Bug when I was a child. It was so sweet and it was called "Kalaspinglan" which I much later found out, by some heavy-duty carpenters means "pussy"! My mother was as sweet as her round blue car, and my father called her "Pussy" as well........
...........anyway, before this paper had all these letters and words on it, it was all empty! And white. All open, inviting. It felt good! As it was filled with words this emptiness seemed to disappear. But then I noticed that the white emptiness was still there, and still is, behind the words! How beautiful it is to enjoy this space. And then things happen all by themselves words, dreams, adventures, until another emptiness, filled with the ecstasy of unknown emergings!

After the bright blue VW Bug she got a black one. And she got drunk and bitter against life. My father lost it and hit her or anyone who would try to interfere like me or my brother. We said to each other that when we grow up we will become policemen and put him in jail! In those moments we forgot about Emptiness, but soon discovered it again on bikes into the forest, among flowers, lakes, blueberries.....

The divorce that had been such a familiar threat finally happened. I was thirteen. I moved with my mother far away from my brother and father. She was an angel in the day and a drunk devil in the nights. I "moved into" a poolhall and desperately looking for love I discovered sex and drugs. School faded into the background and got lost.

Emptiness was lost, darkness prevailing until one day I played pool with an angel who started talking about meditation. Behind that word I must have spotted a glimpse of Empty Unknown Emerging without hearing any of the other words, there was no need it seems only the word MEDITATION, and I knew.....nothing could have stopped it.....

I was fifteen. I had locked myself into my room and was never going to come out again, hating my mother! I dived into meditation. The words and thoughts spinning around in my head started to look like planets whirling in a more peaceful way around a whirling sun. It was a gray day. Suddenly there was no more whirling, no words, no planets......with my eyes closed the sun came into the room. I opened them but it was still gray I closed them again....the light was all pervading! I discovered Emptiness, filled with love.

I never became a policewoman (although I worked as a security guard for a while!). We all discovered Emptiness. My father started meditating and became more and more beautiful. My brother too. My mother left this spinning blue planet and merged with mild blue skies and VW Bugs in some other unknown Emptiness.